Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A View Obstructed By Pretty

I have a partition set up in my garden made up of basic trellis and wooden planter boxes. I had planted vines in the boxes to grow along the trellis to create a sort of living green screen. Well, three years later, time has proven that the idea was best in theory not in practice...

Until I saw THIS!!!



I think this is much better! This is so much more outstanding and because of that, I could, indeed, do the same with larger sections of trellis and instead of fabric, I could plant in the ground making a commitment instead of thinking I might want to move it around. If I had something like this, making a permanent structure with permanent plantings would be so much more striking than the pathetic little things I have going on right now.

Then, visitors to the garden would have something more magical to stroll through to the rose garden!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

No Lazy Sundays Here

Yesterday was quite a busy day and that busy-ness will spill over to today.

In the garden, I planted two azaleas and six cyclamen...nearly dead. Hopefully, I can resurrect them and they will be glorious by winter. I weeded, pruned, and performed a general clean up. But the dirtiest job was saved for last. I put a thick layer of manure in the rose garden, tilled the soil, and placed a soaker hose that now weaves like a snake throughout the bases of all my roses. Flies were biting me in hunger all throughout and the stench was stifling. Yet, the job is done and I do feel much better.

Inside, Mr. Donaghy was busy trimming all the windows and door frames in the kitchen. He even inlaid the exposed parts of the cabinets! The effect is so much more polished and finished. As Little Edie would say, "All it needs is a coat of paint!"

I also went to Target to buy a few things and when the clerk tried to bag my items, I stopped him and said I would not be needing a bag. He looked at me, surprised. Then I told him about the garbage swirl in the Pacific Ocean and he, also, was equally horrified. I just put all my things back in the cart and unloaded them, bagless, in the back of the car. So what if it took an extra trip to the car during unloading? The house is a mere five feet away!

As for today, I think it will be more busy than yesterday. There is the trim to paint, laundry to do, groceries to buy and prep for the week, and general cleaning. Ah, maybe a glass of wine is in order for dinner and sit down afterwards.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Whoa...

My friends Diana, Angela, and I have become obsessed with the documentary Grey Gardens.


As various components of the property were cleared, friends and neighbors, like Nora Ephron, were amazed at what Ms. Quinn and Mr. Bradlee uncovered. "Ben began cutting through the thicket and found the wall that once surrounded the walled garden," Ms. Ephron said. The extent of neglect was "truly unimaginable, even if you had seen the movie."



Here's a look inside the house when it was purchased for the rock bottom price of $220,000.00 and before its massive renovation.


Prior to restoring the house and hiring Victoria Fensterer to reinvent the gardens, Ms. Quinn arranged for photographs to be taken. This never-before-seen shot shows a sunroom with doors leading outside, where years of neglect had hidden the low grey cement walls that gave Grey Gardens its name.


When Ms. Quinn touched a key on this piano in the living room, the whole thing collapsed and fell through the floor.


Ms. Quinn recalled that after Little Edie put the house on the market for $220,000, she turned down several potential buyers, fearing they would tear it down and build something new. "I walked in and said 'this is the most beautiful house I've ever seen,' And she said, 'it's yours,'" Ms. Quinn said. "Then she did this little pirouette in the hall of the house, put her hands up in the air and said 'All it needs is a coat of paint!'"


Among the debris Ms. Quinn and Mr. Bradlee found in their house were the corpses of cats and skulls of raccoons. Here, scattered seashells and piles of books occupy one of the ten bedrooms.


Ms. Quinn said she fell in love with the house as soon as she entered it. "There's something magical about this house. You couldn't walk into it without putting a handkerchief over your nose, but I thought it was just beautiful," she said. "It just absolutely gripped me. I looked at it and I saw what the house could be like, saw what the garden could be." At left, the main staircase as seen from the second floor.


"I wasn't sure I wanted to buy the house," Mr. Bradlee said. "There were 52 dead cats in it, and funeral arrangements had to be made for each one." At left, the master bedroom, which had been used by Big Edie.


Just before closing on the house, Ms. Quinn was sitting in the sunroom with her mother when Lois Wright, a longtime friend of Big Edie, unexpectedly entered the room. "She said, 'I just appeared to bring you a message from Big Edie. She wanted you to have this house and wants you to know that you were meant to have it and that she's watching over you and that everything will go absolutely perfectly,'" Ms. Quinn recalls. At left, Big Edie's glass menagerie fills a cabinet in one of the bedrooms. Ms. Quinn had both the cabinet and the figurines restored.


Quinn Bradlee, the couple's adult son, says he and his mother sometimes joke that they will end up like Big Edie and Little Edie. "My mom and I, we do argue a lot. But I think the way [the Beales] argued was due more to their craziness than love. The way my mom and I argue, it's because we care about each other so much and love each other so much,” Mr. Bradlee said. At left, the bedroom used by Little Edie after her mother died. A single light bulb hangs in a bird cage above the bed.


Nora Ephron, a friend of the Bradlees, says Grey Gardens is a sight to behold. "It's quite a fabulous restoration because they didn't tear the house down, they rebuilt it," she said. "All the original bones are there. All the grace of the original house is exactly as it was." At left, a small bedroom with a porch that has views of the ocean. Ms. Quinn had all of the furniture seen here restored, and it is still in use.


A detail from the master bedroom used by Big Edie. Today, the home is a summer residence for Ms. Quinn and Mr. Bradlee and has become a destination that guests routinely describe as "magical." Lauren Bacall, a friend of the Bradlees, says she has many fond memories. "It is a happy house," Ms. Bacall said. "There is life there."

Pretty Patio Para Ti!!!

My garden seriously lacks major hardscape. I engage in a daily battle to quit planting and start saving for hardscape. The bulk of the periphery planting is finished and I really cannot continue until I have a real solid plan for where to place a patio and walkways.



I love love love moss. I love Irish moss as a tribute to Mr. Donaghy. I love Scottish moss as a tribute to me, Mrs. Donaghy. Why do I love moss? I'm not sure. Maybe this love was born from lollygagging through many a forest in my days of youth in northern California where the floor of a wooded grove was lush with this soft fuzzy green stuff. It cooled down the bare feet and its softness made it easy to walk barefoot. I also love that it creates a fairy feeling. Very Lord of the Rings, you know?

I really like the river birch trees as well. I'll try to find a spot for a duo of those.



I like that this little patio creates a feeling of secrecy. To be honest, I do tend to gravitate towards gardens that are more modern and minimal...rows of repeated plantings that seem to spontaneously burst forth from simple and sleek hardscape. However, I think that every garden should have an element of secrecy. Meaning, nothing should be seen all at once. The modern feel is spacious and clean and neat but a secret spot should be wild and hidden. A place where I can hide from Mr. Donaghy for a moment only to be found by surprise and then, a secret second (or two) of passion hidden from the neighbors!!!

Sunset Cabana

I saw this really cool project for the garden on Sunset.com. I think it will be easy to do...or rather, easy to watch Mr. Donaghy do it! I think he secretly loves that I create projects for him around the house. He grumbles and huffs and puffs but once it's finished, he really does enjoy his efforts.



Here are the instructions...

With our checklist of tools and materials, some PVC pipe, and a little elbow grease, you can transform your outdoor space into an instant retreat ― all for about $300. This backyard lounge serves as both a casual spot for year-round entertaining and a private refuge with resort style.

Cabana checklist: What you’ll need

Frame

Eight 10-foot 1 ½-inch schedule-40 PVC pipes
10 feet of 2-inch-diameter ABS pipe
Four 1 ½-inch schedule-40 L-shaped pipe fittings
Four 1 ½-inch T-shaped pipe fittings
Masking tape
Matte-silver spray paint
Twenty ¾-inch self-tapping metal screws

Curtains

10 yards of 54-inch-wide outdoor fabric
36 feet of #2 double-loop chain (to weigh down fabric on windy days)
2 rolls of heavy-duty fusible sewing tape (we like Stitch Witchery; $2.99; joann.com)
Tools

Post-hole digger
Shovel
Hacksaw
Tape measure
Pencil (for marking measurements)
2-foot level
Iron (for heating/pressing sewing tape)
Sewing machine (optional)
Scissors
Electric drill with bits
Heavy-duty wire cutters
2 ladders (one for each builder)
Time: Approximately 2 days, including drying time for paint. (Note: Assembling the frame requires two people, so enlist a partner on the second day of the project.)

Price Tag: About $300 (about $100 for frame, plus $20/yard for fabric)

Friday, April 24, 2009

This Makes Me Sick...

I recently found out that there is a garbage pile the size of Texas floating in the Pacific Ocean. This floating landfill site lies between my beloved hometown of San Francisco and Japan.



This revelation sent a chill down my spine and I cannot stop thinking about it.




I found a picture of a beach at Half Moon Bay, California, site of many a teenaged night of drinking and debauchery and saw this...



How is it possible that this is the very same beach my friends and I made pilgrimage to every weekend to worship our youth and the herculean goddess that is Mother Earth? I promise it was not so long ago...maybe 15 years...and it certainly did not look like this.

And the waves of nausea continued as I stumbled upon these photos...






I look at these images and I can say is "What the F*@!" is going on here! I don't want to contribute to this! I want to get all Rachel Carson on everybody and stand on top of a mountain with rapidly melting snow caps and yell STOP THIS NOW!!!

What can I do?

Composting Part Four

What NOT to put in your compost bin...

CHEMICALLY-TREATED WOOD PRODUCTS

Sawdust is often available from constructions sites, friends, or your own building projects. If you are considering composting sawdust, be sure of the origin of the sawdust. Sawdust from chemically-treated wood products can be bad stuff to compost. For example, take pressure-treated wood (sometimes called CCA), which usually has a greenish tint to it (I have also seen it in other colors). It contains arsenic, a highly toxic element, as well as chromium and copper. There is evidence to suggest that arsenic is leached into the soil from these products when they are used to make compost bins or raised beds, so composting the sawdust would certainly be a mistake. You may wish to read the 'Letters' section of Organic Gardening, April 1994 and July/August 1992, for more information. Avoid other chemically-treated wood products and sawdust as well, such as wood treated with creosote or 'penta' preservative.
DISEASED PLANTS

Many plant disease organisms are killed by consistent hot composting, but it's difficult to make sure that every speck of the diseased material gets fully composted. It's best not to compost diseased plant material at all, to avoid reinfecting next year's garden.
HUMAN WASTES

Human feces can contain disease organisms that will make people very sick. Composting human feces safely requires that the compost pile reach high (thermophilic) temperatures over a period of time. It isn't necessarily that difficult to reach these temperatures in a home compost pile, but the potential health costs of improper composting are high. Composting of human feces should not be attempted, except by experienced 'hot pile' composters who are well informed of the temperatures and times required to kill pathogens, and who are willing to take 100% responsibility for the process and product. If you would like to learn more about composting humanure, I recommend The Humanure Handbook, listed in the resources section of the Rot Web.
MEAT, BONES, AND FATTY FOOD WASTES

These materials are very attractive to pests (in an urban setting, this could mean rats...). In addition, fatty food wastes can be very slow to break down, because the fat can exclude the air that composting microbes need to do their work.

PERNICIOUS WEEDS

Morning glory/bindweed, sheep sorrel, ivy, several kinds of grasses, and some other plants can resprout from their roots and/or stems in the compost pile. Just when you thought you had them all chopped up, you'd actually helped them to multiply! Don't compost these weeds unless they are completely dead and dry (you may want to leave them in a sunny place for a couple of weeks before composting). Remember also that composting weeds that have gone to seed will create weeds in next year's garden, unless a very hot pile temperature can be maintained to kill the seeds.
PET WASTES

Dog and cat feces may carry diseases that can infect humans. It is best NEVER to use them in compost piles. Some people do bury them 8" deep in the soil, but ONLY in areas where food crops are never grown.

Composting Part Three

The following items can be added to your compost pile:

GRASS/LAWN CLIPPINGS

Actually, it's usually easier to leave grass clippings in the lawn, where they will decompose and benefit the soil directly. However, they can be composted, too. Be cautious to add grass clippings in very thin layers, or thoroughly mix them in with other compost ingredients, as they otherwise tend to become slimy and matted down, excluding air from the pile. Fresh grass clippings are high in nitrogen, making them a 'green' compost ingredient.
HAY

Farmers are often very happy to get rid of spoiled hay bales that have been out in the rain, and will give them away or sell them at a low price. Grass hay will probably contain a lot of seed, which can resprout in your garden. Alfalfa hay will compost very readily. The greener the hay, the more nitrogen it contains. Be sure that any hay you plan to compost is well-moistened prior to addition to the pile.


KITCHEN WASTES

Fruit and vegetable peels/rinds, tea bags, coffee grounds, eggshells, and similar materials are great stuff to compost. They tend to be high in nitrogen (this puts them in the 'greens' category), and are usually quite soft and moist. As such, kitchen wastes need to be mixed in with drier/bulkier materials to allow complete air penetration. Many people compost their kitchen wastes in enclosed worm bins or bury them 8" deep in the soil, to keep from attracting pests to an outdoor compost pile (check with your local government to see if it has regulations about this -- some forbid open piles containing food wastes because of the pest issue). Avoid composting meat scraps, fatty food wastes, milk products, and bones -- these materials are very attractive to pests.
LEAVES

If you live in an area where autumn leaves are still thrown away as garbage, cash in on the bounty each year by acquiring your neighbors' leaves! Generally, leaves are an excellent compost ingredient. They can mat down and exclude air, though, so be sure that any clumps are thoroughly broken up, or that the leaves are only used in very thin layers. Ash and poplar/cottonwood leaves can raise soil pH if used in compost -- this may not be beneficial if your soil is already alkaline, as many soils are in the West (especially in semiarid and arid climates). Dead, dry leaves are in the 'browns' category, while living green leaves contain abundant nitrogen and are considered 'greens'.
STRAW

Dry straw is a good material for helping to keep a compost pile aerated, because it tends to create lots of passageways for air to get into the pile. Be sure to wet the straw, as it is very slow to decompose otherwise. Straw is definitely a 'brown' and also requires mixture with 'greens' to break down quickly. Many stables use straw as a bedding material for horses -- straw that has undergone this treatment is mixed in with horse manure and breaks down more quickly.
WEEDS AND OTHER GARDEN WASTES

Many types of weeds and old garden plants can be composted. Avoid weeds that have begun to go to seed, as seeds may survive all but the hottest compost piles. Some types of weeds are 'pernicious weeds' and will resprout in the compost pile -- avoid using these unless they are thoroughly dead. Green weeds are (you guessed it) a 'green', while dead brown weeds are a 'brown'.
WOOD CHIPS AND SAWDUST

Wood products belong in the 'browns' category, because they are fairly low in nitrogen. Some sawdusts, especially from broadleaved/deciduous tress, will break down quickly in an active compost pile. Others, especially from coniferous trees, will take longer to decay. Stir sawdust thoroughly into the pile or use very thin layers. Coarse wood chips will very slowly decay, and are probably better used as mulch unless you have lots of time to wait. Be sure not to compost chips or sawdust from any sort of chemically-treated wood -- you could be adding toxics like arsenic to your pile if you do.

Composting Part Two

Composting Questions and Answers:

When is my compost finished?

Finished compost is dark in color and has an earthy smell (like the smell of soil). Usually, it's difficult to recognize any of the original ingredients, although bits of hard-to-decompose materials (such as straw) sometimes can be seen.
There is no single point at which compost is finished -- it's a bit more subjective than that. For many outdoor garden applications, for instance, it can be fine to use compost that still has a few recognizable bits of leaves or straw -- it will finish rotting in the soil. If you plan to use compost in seed-starting mixes, though, you're best off having a well-finished compost, because seedling roots may be attacked by decomposer microbes if the roots contact unfinished compost.


How can I use my finished compost?

To tell you the truth, well-finished compost looks so fine that I'm tempted to eat the stuff sometimes. However, there are several more common ways that compost can be used, on gardens, lawns, landscapes, and houseplants:

COMPOST AS SOIL AMENDMENT: Many people put compost into their garden soil by digging it in prior to spring planting. The image shows a potato harvest by apprentices at the UCSC Farm and Garden in 1990. Due to the use of copious amounts of compost, the potato beds yielded about one pound of potatoes per square foot, or about 1000 pounds total from these four beds, each 80 feet long.

Others actually do their composting in the soil, by burying kitchen wastes and other materials in trenches in the garden. Compost can also be used as a 'top dressing' on the soil during the growing season -- in this case it is added in around the bases of plants, where irrigation and soil animals will slowly incorporate it into the soil. On lawns, many people sprinkle/broadcast sifted compost as a top dressing in the spring -- I have been doing this on a 'problem area' of a lawn for several years, in an attempt to improve the soil there for better grass growth. It is also fine to top-dress houseplants occasionally with small handfuls of finished compost.

COMPOST AS MULCH: Compost can be left on the surface as a mulch around landscape and garden plants. This is essentially the same as a 'top dressing' application, described above, but mulches are typically meant to cover all of the soil around the plants that get mulched. Mulches protect the soil from erosion. They also save water by shielding soil from the drying effect of the wind and sun. As they decompose, mulches add nutrients to the soil, and if composed of small-enough particles, worms may slowly eat the mulch and incorporate it into the soil.

COMPOST AS TEA: Compost tea is made by combining equal parts of compost and water and letting it sit for a while. The liquid can help to provide a 'quick boost' to ailing houseplants or young seedlings and transplants (I recommend diluting it quite a bit for use on seedlings). Stu Campbell, in Let it Rot, says that the same compost can be used to make several batches of tea (2). When you're finished making compost tea, use the mucky dregs as a mulch in the garden or landscape.


How does compost improve the soil?

Compost does several things to benefit the soil that synthetic fertilizers cannot do. First, it adds organic matter, which improves the way water interacts with the soil. In sandy soils, compost acts as a sponge to help retain water in the soil that would otherwise drain down below the reach of plant roots (in this way, it protects plants against drought). In clay soils, compost helps to add porosity (tiny holes and passageways) to the soil, making it drain more quickly so that it doesn't stay waterlogged and doesn't dry out into a bricklike substance. Compost also inoculates the soil with vast numbers of beneficial microbes (bacteria, fungi, etc.) and the habitat that the microbes need to live. These microbes are able to extract nutrients from the mineral part of the soil and eventually pass the nutrients on to plants.

Composting Part One


In an effort to save money and make my garden beautious at the same time, I want to compost. Do you know how? I don't but I want to learn and this is the information I am using as my teacher.

Composting Fundamentals

Good composting is a matter of providing the proper environmental conditions for microbial life. Compost is made by billions of microbes (fungi, bacteria, etc.) that digest the yard and kitchen wastes (food) you provide for them. If the pile is cool enough, worms, insects, and their relatives will help out the microbes. All of these will slowly make compost out of your yard and kitchen wastes under any conditions. However, like people, these living things need air, water, and food. If you maintain your pile to provide for their needs, they'll happily turn your yard and kitchen wastes into compost much more quickly. Keep in mind the following basic ideas while building your compost piles:
AIR

Composting microbes are aerobic -- they can't do their work well unless they are provided with air. Without air, anaerobic (non-air needing) microbes take over the pile. They do cause slow decomposition, but tend to smell like putrefying garbage! For this reason, it's important to make sure that there are plenty of air passageways into your compost pile. Some compost ingredients, such as green grass clippings or wet leaves, mat down very easily into slimy layers that air cannot get through. Other ingredients, such as straw, don't mat down easily and are very helpful in allowing air into the center of a pile. To make sure that you have adequate aeration for your pile and its microbes, thoroughly break up or mix in any ingredients that might mat down and exclude air. You can also turn the pile to get air into it, which means completely breaking it apart with a spade or garden fork and then piling it back together in a more 'fluffed-up' condition.
WATER

Ideally, your pile should be as moist as a wrung-out sponge to fit the needs of compost microbes. At this moisture level, there is a thin film of water coating every particle in the pile, making it very easy for microbes to live and disperse themselves throughout the pile. If your pile is drier than this, it won't be very good microbial habitat, and composting will be slowed significantly. If your pile is a great deal wetter, the sodden ingredients will be so heavy that they will tend to mat down and exclude air from the pile, again slowing the composting process (and perhaps creating anaerobic odor problems). If you are using dry ingredients, such as autumn leaves or straw, you'll need to moisten them as you add them to the pile. Kitchen fruit and vegetable wastes generally have plenty of moisture, as do fresh green grass clippings and garden thinnings. Watch out for far-too-soggy piles in wet climates (a tarp may help to keep rain off during wet weather). In dry climates, it may be necessary to water your pile occasionally to maintain proper moisture.
FOOD

In broad terms, there are two major kinds of food that composting microbes need.
'Browns' are dry and dead plant materials such as straw, dry brown weeds, autumn leaves, and wood chips or sawdust. These materials are mostly made of chemicals that are just long chains of sugar molecules linked together. As such, these items are a source of energy for the compost microbes. Because they tend to be dry, browns often need to be moistened before they are put into a compost system.

'Greens' are fresh (and often green) plant materials such as green weeds from the garden, kitchen fruit and vegetable scraps, green leaves, coffee grounds and tea bags, fresh horse manure, etc. Compared to browns, greens have more nitrogen in them. Nitrogen is a critical element in amino acids and proteins, and can be thought of as a protein source for the billions of multiplying microbes.

A good mix of browns and greens is the best nutritional balance for the microbes. This mix also helps out with the aeration and amount of water in the pile. Browns, for instance, tend to be bulky and promote good aeration. Greens, on the other hand, are typically high in moisture, and balance out the dry nature of the browns. If you'd like specific information on different materials, check the 'What to Compost' section.

OTHER THINGS TO CONSIDER

If you live in a cold climate, your compost pile will probably go dormant in the winter. No problem -- it'll start back up again when the springtime thaw comes.
A common misunderstanding about compost piles is that they must be hot to be successful. This just isn't true. If you have good aeration and moisture, and the proper ingredient mix, your pile will decompose just fine at temperatures of 50 degrees Farenheit or above.

Hotter piles will decompose a bit faster, however. One way to understand why this is so is to realize that the heat in a hot pile is the result of the collective body heat of billions of microbes that are busy digesting the ingredients in the pile. Generally speaking, a hotter pile means more microbes or conditions that allow the microbes to have faster metabolisms, and therefore a faster composting process. If you'd like to keep your pile as warm as possible, consider the following:

For a pile to get hot and stay hot for a long period of time, the typical minimum size for the pile is one cubic meter (a cube one meter, or about three feet, on a side). A pile this size has plenty of mass in which those billions of heat-generating microbes can live, yet is also large enough that the center of the pile is well-insulated by the material surrounding it. Smaller piles just cannot insulate themselves well enough to remain hot for long, if at all. You can also provide additional insulation to a pile by stacking bales of hay or straw, or bags of dry autumn leaves, around your bin system. Some people even used stacked hay bales to make bin systems (this kind of bin will slowly compost itself, of course).

Recycle Please!

I don't know where to go to dispose of some of the items I have and upon investigation, I discovered that these items can be recycled...and now I know where to go!

Cell Phones
The Environmental Protection Agency's Plug-In to eCycling program

Rechargeable Batteries
Rechargeable Battery Recycling Corporation

Computers
Earth911.com

Printers, Floppy Disks and Other Tech Accessories
GreenDisk.com

Cameras
RecyclingforCharities.com

Electronics
Electronic Industries Alliance's Consumer Education Initiative
MyGreenElectronics.org
Business Clothing
DressforSuccess.org

Shoes
Nike Reuse-a-Shoe
Soles 4 Souls
Glasses
OneSight.org

Four Years...Four Very Long Years

I spent the better part of the morning creating a budget. Between the two of us, we collect six paychecks a month and we needed to decide how to allocate these funds for our various debts and bills...ie: credit card, student loan, car note, mortgage, utilities...so on and so forth.

Out of this number crunching came the "Four Year Plan". How long will it take to pay off the credit card? How long will it take to pay off the car? How long will it take to pay off the student loan? How long will it take to save nine months worth of emergency money?

It will take Four Years...Four Very Long Years. I want everything paid off now. I want 50,000 in the bank now. I want to win the lottery now. This economy is making me very nervous as I am one of the many Americans who cannot refinance as I owe more than I'm worth. And, no, Fannie Mae does not own my loan and nor does her brother Freddie Mac.

The only light at the end of the tunnel is twofold...1) It will only take four years and for some it will take much longer and 2) Mr. Donaghy promised me he would work on the house for as long as our petty cash will allow. Hallelujah!!!!! O, happy day!!!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Please, Mr. Donaghy




Could you please build me one of these to be placed in the garden? I could use it as a place to put my garden tools and all my pretty pots. I could use it as a place to run away to when you are tired of hearing about all of my wacky ideas on home and garden. I could daydream there. I could paint there. I could play my drums there. I could make it my home five feet away from home.

Please, Mr. Donaghy, please!

Monday, April 13, 2009

What I Am Reading

Friday, April 10, 2009

So Mr. Donaghy Said...

An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the emu. A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke.' The emu says, 'I'll have the same.' Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress. 'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man. 'Same,' says the emu.. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.' Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, mate, how do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?' 'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.' 'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!' 'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man.The waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?' The truckie sighs, pauses, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.'

Do I Dare Try To Make A Stencil Out Of This?

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Mrs. Donaghy, The Interview Part 2

Q: Mrs. Donaghy, why were you laying on the couch watching back to back episodes of How Clean is Your House? last weekend?
A: Unfortunately, I was not feeling well.

Q: Were you ill?
A: Actually, it's a long story. Would you like to hear it?

Q: Indeed.
A: It all started on a Wednesday whilst I was doing the dishes in the kitchen. It was a rather ho hum job and one that allowed my thoughts to wander until suddenly, I felt a vicious wave of nausea take over my whole body. It was then I realized I was feeling a quickening of sorts.

Q: A quickening? What do you mean?
A: A quickening. A flutter.

Q: A flutter of what?
A: A flutter of...life. Or maybe an alien.

Q: An alien?
A: Yes, an alien. Just like you see in the movies only there were no feelings of horror or fright.

Q: Do you mean like a life inside?
A: Yes, exactly that. Like a life inside.

Q: Well, what did you do?
A: I just carried on doing the dishes. And I probably smiled to myself in silent satisfaction. I continued with my days and on that next Saturday, I was at work and told a colleague that I felt "funny". Fortunately, she knew what I meant and during lunch we went to the store and picked up a little test. Well, I took the test and the answer I saw was "no". I was a little surprised because I was so sure. At the end of the day, the same colleague asked to see the test and she shrieked when she saw the answer was indeed "yes"! It seems as though I did not wait long enough for the test to reveal it's true answer.

Q: Then what did you do?
A: I came home and told Mr. Donaghy the news and he was bursting with pride and joy. Honestly, I have never seen him so thrilled. It was the best to see his face bursting that way.

We carried on the next few weeks as though we were walking on air. Everything was great and funny and for the first time, I actually stopped to smell the roses and look at the clouds. The earth seemed to stand still for us and I had never felt that way before.

The doctor told us it was twins and we were ecstatic. Mr. Donaghy's eyes misted over as the color drained from his face.

Q: You both must have been so thrilled!
A: Truly, we were.

Q: You say were. What do you mean were?
A: Unfortunately, the thrill was short lived. A second look and series of blood tests revealed that for now, it was just not meant to be.

Q: Oh.
A: Yes, that is the reaction I get the most. But it is quite alright. I am not the first nor the last. But, when you ask me why I was on the couch, that is why.

Q: I see.
A: Mr. Donaghy has been magnificent throughout. He takes quite good care of me. Quite doting, you know. Brings me things, fetches things for me, fulfills even the silliest whim. It's touching and sweet really.

Q: Any concrete plans of yet?
A: No, just taking it easy.

Which One?




Ahhh! Which one do I choose? One is stationary and cheaper. More difficult to rotate. The other is mobile, both in locomotion and usage. But much more expensive. With Mr. Donaghy's gift certificate, additional $10 gift certificate, and some saved money, I could easily afford this one.

I guess the answer is simple when it comes to composting in order to save my little dot on the planet.

Stripes



I am going to paint my main bathroom in these grey and white stripes. The bathroom is so tiny that you feel like you are in a jail cell. But, if I paint the walls in these colored stripes, at least one would feel like they are in a nicely decorated jail cell.

Ideas for Master Bedroom

Paint Color



Wall Detailing




Furniture




Accents




Finishing Touches

Get all Kelly Wearstler and throw in some sort of graphic print either on the wall, the floor, or the bedding/pillows.
Get all Candice Olsen and add some killer lighting and sparkle via sconces, ceiling lights, and fabrics.

Monday, April 6, 2009

What is Hollywood Regency?









These are the looks I'm going for in the master bedroom.

If You Are A Starving Artist Part 2



Coffee filters make sweet pretty.

If You Are A Starving Artist